Just good stuff Just simple little good stuff: 1- I have great tickets for some great concerts in the next few months. They are Lucinda Williams, Lyle Lovett/John Haitt, Janis Ian and Richie Havens. Tixs were all cheap and worst seat is 3rd row center. I love going to concerts and theater myself. I just totally lose myself. I laugh, cry and just come away feeling so uplifted. 2- Now this will sound really silly... but I can walk again. Walk and walk and walk and then not have my back hurt, or my feet hurt, or have to stop every 20 feet to rest. I mowed the lawn tonight, worked up a real dripping sweat, was tired, but my body felt good. 3- I lead such a nice simple little life in my bubble. 4- I am very lucky to have some wonderful people in my life that care a lot about me and who I also care for a great deal. This is the biggest gift I have. 5- Off to bed. I'm beat. No Klonopin tonight.
Added: 2008-08-20 02:44:19.0 | link | comments: 0
It can't happen again Deleted as I accidently posted it twice
Added: 2008-08-19 03:31:31.0 | link | comments: 0
It can't happen again Last Monday I had a bilateral breast MRI. Just a regular check up until my radiation oncologist called my Friday morning telling me I have to come in for further testing as they've found "something" that is "probably nothing". Having been diagnosed twice before with "probably nothing" cancers I am not feeling reassured. I have an appointment at the lab at 9:30 tomorrow and an appt with my oncologist afterwards. She is one of my favorite doctors. I'm hanging onto "it just can't be so" as that's about all I've got now. The last year has been all about getting healthy. Wouldn't it be a kick in the ass if all this exercise, losing 50 lbs and all that jazz resulted in proving that I can't even control the one thing I'm trying to control? My dog Rhea is my biggest source of strength. If it's positive I will not be looking for work anymore. I don't know what I would do medically. Don't much like the options so I'm just not going there. So here's to hoping this is all about nothing except tests showing everything and investigating everything. Will let yall know when I get the all is well.
Added: 2008-08-19 03:17:18.0 | link | comments: 10
Looking Back and Forward Yesterday I looked back on my blog. Not all 64 pages of it, but a good part of it. I haven't been writing much of late. I am a lot stronger in myself than I've been in a long time. Someone recently told me I live inside my head and I guess that's still true. To quote a tee-shirt... "They know me there and it's okay." I've been working hard to stay on the up-side of the glass. It is hard. People are suffering and it's getting personal. My neighbor was kicked out of his house yesterday. Others are working but not earning enough to support a home. I see myself ending up there all too easily and need to get something going before I deplete my resources. I continue to work on myself and am now down 40 pounds!! All the other measures are showing good improvement as well. I'm just about "normal"! [g] I still have lots more weight to lose but I'm feeling good about it. It's an accomplishment, not a struggle. I still have some trouble taking care of some stuff, like getting mail into the mailbox, but it is what it is and I know the holes I dig for myself when I do that and the consequences. I'm starting to crawl out and spend some time in the company of men!! wooohooooo. I know, that's a shock. I'm even back in the right community after realizing life with a sweet vanilla guy wouldn't cut it. All my parts still work when inspired by the right person. I'm going slowly, keeping my eyes open a bit more and just trying to pull down the walls a bit.
Added: 2008-07-02 16:26:56.0 | link | comments: 15
Family and Solutions Lots has been going on with the family lately. Last week Dad fell and broke a couple of ribs. This week my sister fell and broke her arm. She'll have surgery tomorrow to put a plate in her arm and will be out of commission for three months. Meanwhile, my Aunt who lives four blocks from Mom and Dad recently moved into an assisted living facility and will not be returning to the house. My cousin has offered to let me stay at the house and just pay utilities. While I do like it here in NC this might be a good solution for me. I'd be close to my folks, but not living with them. I'd be able to support myself while getting back on my feet. And, I'd be able to sell the house without having to depleat my savings and retirement accounts to support it. Should even realize some profit. My cousin just made the offer tonight. I've got to think about it a bit more and talk with her some more as well. This just might be a solution.
Added: 2008-05-23 03:57:48.0 | link | comments: 6
