Neglect
from: steph's JournURL weblogAdded: 2009-01-06 12:33:20.0 | comments: 4
I've been neglecting you all. No good reason, really, I just haven't felt much like writing. I'm suffering from this low-grade depression that I'm finding hard to kick.
I still love my job, but I guess that the honeymoon's over. Oh, they still love me too, but the tough financial year means that we had to do some things that nobody wanted to do, and because I happen to be very good at my job - managing projects - I've had to lead some of those efforts, like closing offices. While the company I work for has actually been very generous with severance and relocations, still, some people have lost their jobs and that sucks. More of the same is on tap for this year, I'm sure, and I'm sure I'll have to do a lot more unpleasant things to people I like, and I HATE it. As one of them pointed out to me, it would suck worse to have to work with someone who didn't care, but I don't find that much comfort. Between that, and spending an excessive amount of time traveling to take care of those various tasks, I just haven't felt much like talking about it. I'm tired, I have depressing tasks to do, and the stuff I really love doing is on hold indefinitely while we figure out how to do a lot more with a lot less.
Jim's had another significant pay cut, while his expenses for being in Chicago haven't gone down at all, and there's no good way to reduce expenses. He's at the point where if anything more happens, he'll just have to quit because he won't be making any money. Of course, our bills haven't gone down either, so that's stressful. David could use our help because his houseing situation just got a lot more expensive at school due to a roommate problem, and there's nothing to help him with, which sucks more.
Then, of course, was my Dad's cancer, which wasn't all that serious and treatment has been successful and not tough on him physically. Definitely could have been worse, but stressful - and then, as soon as we got past that, the company he retired from went bankrupt and it turns out that his pension was not "guaranteed" - meaning unfunded, meaning that his comfortable retirement just went to hell, along with his medical insurance. And of course there's no money to help him either.
I keep reminding myself that there are people losing their jobs and homes all over the country, and that we're getting by and should be grateful for the blessings we have. Even if Jim has to quit, we'll still be able to afford a place to live and food to eat and to pay the utilities - the worst thing about it would be that we'd probably have to file bankruptcy. But in the big scheme of things, we'd still be better off than most people, and in another year he can file for Social Security. David will figure it out, even if it takes him another year or even two to graduate. Dad and stepmom at least have social security, so they won't starve even if they won't be comfortable, and if worse came to absolute worst, we could share a house. We've still got a few options left.
But while I'm telling myself that, I also know that things are quite likely to get a whole lot worse before they get better, and so it's hard to even enjoy the little blessings we have. I just worry and fret and feel like the whole world has turned gray.
So that's the news, guys. I hope you all are doing well.
My lucky husband
from: steph's JournURL weblogAdded: 2008-12-31 22:25:38.0 | comments: 1
Turns out I'm not anywhere near to perfect:
1. I'm independent, but not well adjusted, but productive and motivated to accomplish things (at least if they're things I want to accomplish). I always carry my share of the responsibilities to earn money and but do the minimum scut work it takes to run a household.
2. I'm not socially gifted, frequently don't like people, sometimes have major tantrums, am occasionally a drama queen, I'm appropriately appreciative, at least of Jim, but am frequently not easy to get along with.
3. I have an unhealthy streak of neuroticism and insecurity that pops up often enough for him to know I really need him and rely on him for my emotional security. (After all, it's nice to be needed!)
4. I'm not boring, I come up with new and fun (or aggravating) ideas on a regular basis. Or if I can't come up with anything I whine and complain until something occurs to one of us. In any case, I don't let us just fall into a dreary blah relationship.
5. I still really like sex, even after 14 years. I am pretty sure I am most of my friends are not in this catagory.
6. I have a great sense of humor and usually find myself (and him and us) quite amusing which helps a very good amount over the long run. (Note this post, as an example.)
7. I don't like to spend money all that much. I'd be happy living in a studio apartment. Clothes don't interest me. If we got poor, I wouldn't find it intolerable.
8. I am an um... well, creative and adventurous cook. At least meals aren't boring.
9. I love our kids but will never be mother of the year material. My relationship with them is best characterized as "interested but not heavily involved", these days.
10. I've got 1 year into a retirement plan.
11. I'm relatively healthy (at the moment.)
12. I'm loyal as hell.
Wow, Ann, we don't have nearly as much in common as I'd guessed....
My lucky husband
from: ann_c's JournURL weblogAdded: 2008-12-31 22:20:02.0 | comments: 1
I woke up early this morning and started thinking about what a great deal I am as a partner. Here are all the reasons I came up with:
1. I'm independent, well adjusted, productive and motivated to accomplish things. I always carry my share of the responsibilities to earn money and do the scut work it takes to run a household.
2. I'm socially gifted, get along with people, dont have major tantrums, not a drama queen, I'm appropriately appreciative and easy to get along with.
3. I have a nice streak of neuroticism and insecurity that pops up often enough for him to know I really need him and rely on him for my emotional security. (After all, it's nice to be needed!)
4. I'm not boring, I come up with new and fun (or aggravating) ideas on a regular basis. Or if I can't come up with anything I whine and complain until something occurs to one of us. In any case, I don't let us just fall into a dreary blah relationship.
5. I still really like sex, even after 28 years. I am pretty sure I am the only one of my friends who is in this catagory.
6. I have a great sense of humor and usually find myself (and him and us) quite amusing which helps a very good amount over the long run. (Note this post, as an example.)
7. I don't like to spend money all that much. I'd be happy living in a studio apartment. Clothes don't interest me. If we got poor, I wouldn't find it intolerable.
8. I am a great cook. My pies are works of art.
9. I'm a devoted mother but have no interest in living through my children.
10. I've got 24 years into a retirement plan.
11. I'm relatively healthy (at the moment.)
12. I'm loyal as hell.
Guess that's it. Damn. I think I'm close to being the perfect woman!!! I better go find my husband and tell him of his good luck!!
And, heh, I guess this means I don't need to make any resolutions this year.
Ann
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from: Untitled BlogAdded: 2008-12-29 04:50:43.0 | comments: 0
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Happy Christmas, again
from: ann_c's JournURL weblogAdded: 2008-12-22 00:32:57.0 | comments: 1
Hey Journurl friends,
May your Christmas be bright and full of love and laughter.
Seattle has about 8 inches of snow. We may get our first white Christmas in over 25 years. Wouldn't that be something.
Best to all, and may we all be overcome with the need to blog in the new year!
Ann C.
PS I was going to give you your yearly virtual gifts but I can no longer remember how to do the little link thing to post them. Oh well, go virtually buy something nice for yourselves and put it on my virtual charge card!